Do it
"Just write." That's what my friend told me a few minutes back. She had mentioned that someone was chatting to her, someone who likes her nick. She was saying he rambles. I said that I'd like ramble.
Just before she messaged me I was debating whether to 'just write'. It's therapeutic they say. I believe it too. But I don't believe in writing for my own sake. This is the same reasoning that has stopped me from writing a diary or journal or anything of the sort, since 3rd grade. What's the point of me, writing to myself? It seems absurd. I am me. I don't need to write to myself! - Guess it's not that simple.
I've thought many times that I should write, but write with the intent of showing it to someone at some point. This way I'm not really writing to myself. But then the notion that someone should give my writing, their attention, it just seems conceited somehow.
I suppose part of the motivation for one to write, or at least this is somewhat true in my case, is to be understood, heard and related to. It's not something I like to admit really. Needing anything makes one vulnerable.
Needing understanding... I think sometimes we single a person out, and want to be understood by them, have them empathize with us. I was probably singling out one person, desiring to be heard, related to and understood by them. That's not a possibility right now though, so maybe I'm trying to make do with writing monologues to myself with the hidden intent of later making them somewhat public. In a small way that feels like I'm being insincere, almost whorish.
I've debated a million times about starting a journal, or a blog or something of the sort. I've always thought "If I do that, I'll need a good beginning. I will need to reflect on my reasons for not having written sooner, and make a good introduction to future writings." All the above is not quite what I had in mind.
A friend of mine who keeps a blog had a bit of a negative experience the other day. I asked her whether she would put this in her blog. She said she wouldn't, because she wanted to keep her blog light for it to be fun reading. It had never occurred to me that one could make a conscious decision like that. If I have writing, that reflects on me, my thoughts, feelings and experiences, do I wasn't it to deliver a certain kind of reading? Do I want to be honest, open and drawn out, like this, at the risk of putting anyone who might ever read it to sleep?
Anywho, I shall email this to my friend who said I should write, and force this down her throat, even if it knocks her into suspended animation.
Just before she messaged me I was debating whether to 'just write'. It's therapeutic they say. I believe it too. But I don't believe in writing for my own sake. This is the same reasoning that has stopped me from writing a diary or journal or anything of the sort, since 3rd grade. What's the point of me, writing to myself? It seems absurd. I am me. I don't need to write to myself! - Guess it's not that simple.
I've thought many times that I should write, but write with the intent of showing it to someone at some point. This way I'm not really writing to myself. But then the notion that someone should give my writing, their attention, it just seems conceited somehow.
I suppose part of the motivation for one to write, or at least this is somewhat true in my case, is to be understood, heard and related to. It's not something I like to admit really. Needing anything makes one vulnerable.
Needing understanding... I think sometimes we single a person out, and want to be understood by them, have them empathize with us. I was probably singling out one person, desiring to be heard, related to and understood by them. That's not a possibility right now though, so maybe I'm trying to make do with writing monologues to myself with the hidden intent of later making them somewhat public. In a small way that feels like I'm being insincere, almost whorish.
I've debated a million times about starting a journal, or a blog or something of the sort. I've always thought "If I do that, I'll need a good beginning. I will need to reflect on my reasons for not having written sooner, and make a good introduction to future writings." All the above is not quite what I had in mind.
A friend of mine who keeps a blog had a bit of a negative experience the other day. I asked her whether she would put this in her blog. She said she wouldn't, because she wanted to keep her blog light for it to be fun reading. It had never occurred to me that one could make a conscious decision like that. If I have writing, that reflects on me, my thoughts, feelings and experiences, do I wasn't it to deliver a certain kind of reading? Do I want to be honest, open and drawn out, like this, at the risk of putting anyone who might ever read it to sleep?
Anywho, I shall email this to my friend who said I should write, and force this down her throat, even if it knocks her into suspended animation.
posted by dazzlingdimwit at 8:14 PM
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